Yes, it's okay to cry now
Crying used to be taboo, but now it's normalized and even cool.
In the past, when I would start a newsletter post, I would have a topic planned out and write on that (even if I kinda didn’t want to.)
Now, I’m thinking— I want to write on what’s on my mind right now. Isn’t that what a diary is about anyways? Writing about what’s in your head at the moment?
And what I want to write about is crying.
You might be thinking, “Rashell, are you okay?” And to that I say, yup. I’m okay. But lately I’ve feeling more stressed out than usual. Instead of bottling it up and dealing with what I can fix right now, though, I’m… letting my emotions flow through me? Accepting them? Whaat?
It took until recently to realize that our society and culture really sees crying and showing any kind of negative emotion as “bad” or “in need of being fixed.” That crying is a sign of weakness, that we’ve given up and let other people take control of our lives.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Crying helps us process emotions by releasing them physically, which is probably why when we cry, we feel a lot better. Plus, crying is a natural human reaction. We cry when we laugh too hard, when we’re happy or vulnerable.
But society can give us clues to think that a certain behavior can be bad. Which is where most of us think that crying is fundamentally a morally wrong thing to do.
Growing up, I got messages from my teachers and parents that crying was bad, or that too much crying was somehow bad for me. As if repressing my emotions was somehow going to be so much better for me. Now, I’m learning to show up in whatever way I can, even if it includes crying.
To be fair, I’m not talking about crying whenever something horrible happens to me. I mean crying when things get a little hard, or even crying when an emotional peak happens in a dramatic movie. AKA, crying as a normal outlet for human emotions to run through me, instead of reserving tears for when life is at its craziest.
Getting older is showing me that America has a huge problem with looking right all the time, never showing hard emotions, and being the best you can be everyday. Get up, do work, go home, and repeat the process all over again. It’s like we’re so rushed that we don’t have time to be messy, joyful, or god forbid, cry.
Why not? Why don’t we let children cry their tears and show them that it’s okay to show emotion? Showing up and letting someone cry— that takes maturity and patience. Values we all need during hard times.
Crying is cool now
I was inspired to write about crying, of all things, when I saw this short video from YouTuber Mom on the Spectrum on the benefits of releasing suppressed emotions through tears.
It makes me angry that older generations were told that crying was somehow “bad.” So being in pain is somehow better? Repressing emotions makes us happier?
Feeling openly can make us better people and open us up to more understanding with each other. Crying may be seen as emotionally upsetting (especially when we see someone do it in public), but it also evokes concern, and then comfort when we reach out to that person for help.
And it can be hard to cry for some people, for men specifically. Because of this, some of us can cry easily than others. Societal expectations and emotional suppression can run deep if those messages are instilled from childhood, so crying doesn’t come naturally for those people with inner stigma.
Younger generations (like young gals such as myself) are more open about mental health and likely to share when we’re feeling good, bad, or horrible, considering all of the crazy things we’ve experienced over the past ten years. It’s so great and comforting to know that we’re so much open to being upset and anxious than ever before. I’m not even sure why Gen Zers are open to mental health, but given how connected we are through social media, the internet, and how we’re more easily susceptible to changes in society because, uhhhh, it’s all we know, then yeah— I can see how mental health would be a lifesaver for us. Because, why not?
So, yes, crying is cool now, and whoever doesn’t think so probably just needs a good, long cry.
~* Cool fun stuff that made me happier this week!! *~
That was really deep and hard to write about, but it felt good. Now here is some fun stuff that made me joyful, and maybe can bring you some joy too.
Starbucks copycat egg bites: I don’t have the money to buy Starbucks egg bites every day. Nor do I want to. So I made them at home, and they still turned out just as tasty.
Edamame beans: Am I just hungrier this week? I usually don’t like to eat any type of vegetable… ever, but I’ve been a sucker for edamame beans LOL. Sprinkled with sea salt, these type of beans are pretty delicious. So I guess I like vegetables now?
Wayfair futon: okay, I know this isn’t a cool, fun thing, but my couch is older than I am, and I’m a grown ass adult, so yes, this is a cool fun thing for me. It’s comfier, firmer, and it can double as a bed in less than a minute. Adulting win to the max.
Murder by Cheesecake: A Golden Girls Cozy Mystery: Yesssss I’m saving the best for last! (lol.) I have trouble reading books from front to back but this one I devoured like a Starbucks egg bite. It’s a murder mystery set in the Golden Girls universe about a wedding, cheesecake, and a murder. Obviously someone dies, but the Golden Girls try to solve the murder themselves from things go haywire. The book is on backorder on Bookshop because it’s so good, so I highly recommend.